As the name suggests, high-conflict personalities are those who engage in actions that encourage conflicts instead of resolving them. Those with this condition may also be narcissistic or have a personality disorder. If you’re divorcing a spouse with a high-conflict personality, there is a high chance that your case be messy or ugly, especially if you act on your feelings.
Burnhamlaw.com and other family lawyers in Denver share some things to keep in mind when divorcing a high-conflict personality:
- Keep communication and contact to a minimum. It’s common for those with high-conflict personalities to find ways to prevent you moving on with your life. They also love creating drama by making you look bad or badmouthing you to everyone. It’s best to minimize contact and communication to avoid chaos. Let your lawyer help you in handling most divorce issues.
- Be prepared always. High-conflict personalities find it hard to move on, so they are always plotting plans of revenge. They also do this to keep you from moving on. They may even fabricate stories to make them look like the better spouse or parent. If they do engage in such behaviors, do not fight back with mean or defensive messages. Respond to the accusations with facts and be sure to save their hostile messages and emails.
- Be accountable. This does not mean taking all the blame in your divorce. When you’re dealing with a high-conflict personality, it’s not always wise to admit mistakes. This is because your ex will use this as a proof to make you look like an incompetent person. Your apologies and admissions (especially in writing) can be twisted, making it seem that you’re a terrible parent or spouse.
It can be highly stressful to deal with a high-conflict personality. This is why it’s best to seek help through therapy and learn how to take care of yourself. You shouldn’t also let your spouse know what you feel, as they may use that against you. Be sure to work with an experienced family lawyer to guide your divorce accordingly.